Seven of the most hilaious (but true) Jobs

I'm going to warn everyone before reading today's article, it's purely for entertainment but in the recruiting world, most days could use a really good laugh!


1. Man Who Watches Paint Dry

Unless you are a skydiving lion tamer, chances are your job tends to get tedious from time to time. You might even compare it to “watching grass grow” or more commonly “watching paint dry”. For some folks though, such a comparison is downright insulting, seeing as they have made a career out of observing drying paint.

One such person is Keith Jackson from the UK, who for the last 30 years, has been assessing the time it takes for his company’s paint to dry. By gently touching test area on his work station wall, Mr. Jackson times how long it takes for a paint to stop being wet. It might seem horribly unnecessary, but keep in mind that there are places out there which have to occasionally be painted in record fast time (like subway stations or freeways), and it’s up to Mr. Jackson to see just how his company’s formula is holding up.

2. Coconut Safety Engineer

This profession is unfortunately only available in tropical paradises like the Virgin Islands, but luckily it requires very little training or special skills other than the ability to swing a big stick. The job of a coconut safety engineer is to go around to private properties like hotels and resorts and whack their coconut trees until all potentially dangerous nuts fall down.

This is done to protect their guests from falling coconuts (some of which can reach well over 3 pounds in weight) sparing the hotel/resort owners any unnecessary lawsuits. In fact, a falling coconut can do significant damage or even be fatal. The job might not pay that much, and there is no word if a CSE can keep the coconuts he knocks down, but it is a job which concerns itself with the public’s safety, making it quite noble and well worth the effort.

3. Mosquito Gatherer

Malaria, a mosquito transferable disease, is still a huge problem in certain parts of the world, so science is constantly on the job trying to find ways to cure it. In order to do that however, they need mosquito specimens. And that’s when it gets a little weird.

It turns out one of the easiest ways to attract the little disease spreading bloodsuckers is to roll up your sleeves and let them start feasting on the red bloody goodness inside you. That is the job of a mosquito gatherer who turns his own body into an All You Can Eat buffet for mosquitoes. After they latch onto his skin, the mosquito gatherer sucks them up through a straw and deposits the insect vampires into specimen jars for further studies.

The job’s risks include contracting malaria and up to 3000 mosquito bites a day, making it without doubt the suckiest non-prostitution-related profession in the world.

4. Chicken Sexer

This is one of those job titles which could be easily misunderstood, causing less than hilarious mix-ups with certain less than well adjusted individuals. In a sane reality though, a chicken sexer is the person who checks the sex of chicks in poultry sorting facilities.

Today everything is industrialized, even and especially animal farms. What happens there is that a clucking adorable sea of yellow chicks comes down a shaft and onto a conveyor belt or something similar while the factory employees stand around them sorting out the males from the females. The females later go to other farms to lay eggs while any number of things can happen to the males, but most often they get chopped up and put in dog food.

5. Egg Breaker

You might be thinking – “Egg breaker? Hot dog, I’ve been training for that job all my life!” but sadly professional klutzes have been in very low demand in the last few decades and no one is currently interested in paying you to be clumsy. Actually, the job of the egg breaker is to manually separate the egg whites and yolks in food service industries, additionally keeping an eye out for spoiled eggs.

Modern technology can do wondrous things like send communications from one end of the globe to the other in half a second, but we still need humans to separate our eggs, apparently. This is good news for all of you worrying that your job is going to be taken over by robots in the future. Whatever happens, at least you will always be able to find a job breaking eggs.

6. Butt Wiper

Let’s talk about Sumo wrestling. Have you seen how huge those guys are? Flipping hot heck, some Sumo wrestlers get so big you could stab one in the back and not have the knife reach any internal organs for like a week. This is, of course, one of the many sacrifices these wrestlers have to make to achieve fame and glory in the ring, but their size often comes at a much more terrible price: the inability to wipe.

Indeed, a few Sumo wrestlers tend to get so big they no longer can reach down behind and below them to wipe after using the toilet. Not that long ago, this actually was the job of the “freshman” at the school the Sumo wrestler attended, but since finally discovering the concept of basic human dignity, many Japanese officials banned this practice. But there will always be people willing to do many terrifying things for money.

The professional sumo-butt wipers are of course most often hired as full time nurses but the implications of their future tasks are made quite clear in the interview process. Bizarrely, many still take this job willingly.

7. Fart Smeller

Yes, turns out one of the many names kids used to call you back when you were younger is actually a real thing. Incidentally, “Poop Eater” continues not to be a real thing (at the time of this writing), but someday… who knows?

The Fart Smellers have been first described in 2005 in “Popular Science” concerning an experiment performed by Dr. Michael Levitt. Levitt, a gastroenterologist, paid 2 evidently desperate people an undisclosed amount of money to smell and rate farts from his test subjects, according to their noxiousness. The experiment used gasses collected from 16 healthy volunteer after eating pinto beans and concluded that the worst smelling parts of farts are hydrogen sulfide.

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Cloud computing refers to the provision of computational resources on demand via a computer network, such as applications, databases, file services, email, etc. In the traditional model of computing, both data and software are fully contained on the user's computer; in cloud computing, the user's computer may contain almost no software or data (perhaps a minimal operating system and web browser only), serving as little more than a display terminal for processes occurring on a network of computers far away. A common shorthand for a provided cloud computing service (or even an aggregation of all existing cloud services) is "The Cloud".

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The phrase “cloud computing” originated from the cloud symbol that is usually used by flow charts and diagrams to symbolize the internet. The principle behind the cloud is that any computer connected to the internet is connected to the same pool of computing power, applications, and files. Users can store and access personal files such as music, pictures, videos, and bookmarks or play games or use productivity applications on a remote server rather than physically carrying around a storage medium such as a DVD or thumb drive. Almost all users of the internet may be using a form of cloud computing though few realize it. Those who use web-based email such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo, a Company owned email, or even an e-mail client program such as Outlook, Evolution, Mozilla Thunderbird or Entourage that connects to a cloud email server. Hence, utilizing desktop applications to connect to your cloud email, is still considered a cloud application.

Several ways to actually get a job.

Whether you're looking for your very first job, switching careers, or re-entering the job market after an extended absence, finding a job whittles down to two main tasks: understanding yourself and understanding the job market. Presuming you've already chosen a career and are currently searching for jobs, here are several ways to actually get a job.

Network.

The best companies to work for tend to rely heavily (up to 40%) on employee referrals. Make a list of all of your friends, relatives, and acquaintances. Call each one and ask them if they know of any openings that they could recommend you for. Don't be too humble or apologetic; tell them what you've been looking for, but let them know that you're flexible and that if they have any suggestions, you're open to them. This is not the time to be picky about jobs; a connection can often get your foot in the door, and you can negotiate pay or switch positions later, once you've gained experience and established your reputation.

Volunteer.

If you aren't already, start volunteering for an organization that focuses on something that you're passionate about. You may end up doing boring or easy work in the beginning, but as you stick around and demonstrate your commitment, you'll be given more responsibilities. Not only will you be helping others, but you'll also be gaining references. You should emphasize your volunteer experience on your resume, as companies that treat their employees well tend to favor candidates who help the community somehow.[1]

Write a really well-written letter to the owner of the company/establishment. Make sure you highlight all your valuable skills and qualifications but also make it clear that you are flexible and a good team worker. Use good vocabulary and keep an appropriate tone of formality throughout your application.

Develop your personal elevator pitch. Many structured interviews, particularly those at large companies, start with a question like "tell me about yourself." The interviewer doesn't really want you to go back to grade school and talk about your childhood. This is a specific question with a specific answer...in two minutes or so, the interviewer wants to get you to relax and loosen out your vocal cords, understand your background, your accomplishments, why you want to work at XYZ company and what your future goals are.

Prepare for a behavioral interview. You might be asked to describe problems you've encountered in the past and how you handled them, or you'll be given a hypothetical situation and asked what you would do. They'll basically want to know how you'll perform when faced with obstacles in the position you're interviewing for. Be able to give honest, detailed examples from your past, even if the question is hypothetical (e.g. "I would contact the customer directly, based on my past experience in a different situation in which the customer was very pleased to receive a phone call from the supervisor"). You might find yourself listing facts--if so, remember that in this kind of interview, you need to tell a story. Some questions you might be asked are:


"Describe a time you had to work with someone you didn't like."
"Tell me about a time when you had to stick by a decision you had made, even though it made you very unpopular."
"Give us an example of something particularly innovative that you have done that made a difference in the workplace."
"How would you handle an employee who's consistently late?"

Sources: http://www.wikihow.com/Get-a-Job